Week 1: Sailor Moon the Arcade Game

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Yes! A Sailor Moon arcade game! Just what I've always wanted!"

The same thing ran through my mind when I learned of its existence, and so it was with much anticipation that I downloaded the ROM for MAME. For some tragic reason, this game never made it to the States.

The first thing I noticed was the shocking amount of effort that was put into its presentation. Graphically, it is absolutely gorgeous. I'm not an arcade expert, so I can't make any comparisons -- all I really know is that nowadays, my N64 is sometimes more attractive than the stuff in arcades. However, when Sailor Moon came out, I have a feeling it was much closer to the cutting edge. You can see every stunning detail on the tennis racket-wielding monsters! (No joke.)

As for gameplay, it's pretty much your typical Final Fight clone: a mindless side-scrolling beat 'em up with utterly impossible bosses at the end of each level. (Hey man, this is the arcade. Gotta make that money.) You get to play as your favorite sailor senshi, with the caveat that it only features characters from the first season -- which shouldn't be a problem unless you're like me and you actually know that. Each girl has different elemental attacks/special moves, as well as strengths and weaknesses in certain categories (speed, power, and so forth). By collecting crystals throughout each stage, your power level will increase, and it allows you to unleash a "Super" move (which range from massive fireballs to breaking down into tears. Peach has nothing on these girls). Nothing really groundbreaking here, and the controls are as basic as you'd expect.

I happen to be a fan of side-scrolling fighters, so I started playing with gusto. However, the difficulty in some points is almost ludicrous -- it's a Sailor Moon game, for crying out loud -- but hey, lucky for me, I was able to insert "coins" all day long. I think it would have been a lot more fun to play with another person, because while it was amusing and entertaining on its own, the sheer volume of monsters required me to use my special attacks pretty frequently. And in most games like this, it drains a bit of your life every time you do, so I was slowly committing suicide as I tried desperately to defeat the tennis racket fiends. At least the Super moves were really cool to watch, although I found it lame that you could only activate these elemental attacks by having enough crystals.

Ultimately, though, you need to ask yourself only one question. When it comes to Final Fight clones, does it get any better than controlling a jailbait character sprite who screams garbled Japanese and uses "Rolling Heart Vibration" against her enemies?

Nope. It sure doesn't.

ETA: Now with screen caps!

WHO DO I CHOOSE!?
He's so dreamy.
Incoming Jupiter!
Mars and Venus team up (unfortunately not against tennis racket monsters).